Me, Myself and I

Today’s blog post is going to be about a goal I should have set AGES ago. I’m also going to address a topic that I drafted up ages ago in a blog post titled something else… As you can imagine from my lack of posting and activity on this blog; I have been super busy as to not have the chance to post. Having said that, the ideas, thoughts and inspirations have all been there and as much as I would like to say I want to try and post more often, I know with the many times before where I have said it, tried and failed I will probably do no good, so instead… I’ll say that I want to post more and hopefully this desire will force me to prioritise my blogging life more and this can be a goal in itself anyway.

So, to the main point of this blog post. My goal for the ‘future’ let’s say, is to concentrate on myself more; I mean this in two ways. The first way, is to be able to spend more time making myself happy, in a non-selfish way. I think I have spent too many minutes of my life thinking about how I can make others happy or wanting to make others happy (not in a people-pleasing way), but in a way that I am fulfilling everyone else’s needs and none of my own. I have grown to learn that I managed to put my own happiness and love for myself to the lowest of my ‘priority list’, I don’t exactly know when or how this happened but I have come to realise that in the past year it has become more prominent than ever before. Due to this, it has become more of a problem that ever before, so much that it is time to address it. Now that I have moved onto a ‘new stage’ in life, I have been able to cut myself off from people who no longer serve in my life in a positive way, and been able to concentrate on a smaller quantity of people and really develop a much tighter, close-knitted and meaningful relationship than I have done before. It has actually been more testing too; as myself and others have become more and more busy, yet being able to maintain a friendship through this has shown me who I should be investing my time on and also those I maybe shouldn’t. As I have less people and distractions to divert my focus and attention, I am constantly trying to intentionally focus more love and attention on myself. It has actually been quite a difficult task, to spend time doing things I like more often, things that make me happy and to focus on myself has surely not been a natural instinct and has proven quite difficult since I started. However, putting this into practice more and more has been just the small stepping stone of a long long journey, something in which I am hoping will eventually become a second nature task; to know what makes me happy, to do those things and in turn be able to bless the friendships/relationships I have with others in a more true and real way… It might now sound like I am being self-indulgent, but honestly I have come to believe that if you are not truly happy within yourself, it will show in the relationships you have with others. Whether you are conscious/subconscious to it, there is bound to be a strain on the relationships and the way in which you can overcome this (unless there is another reason) is to solve these problems starting with yourself first. Love yourself, and everything else will stem from it.

The second way in which I meant by this goal is also concentrating and placing my efforts on working on myself more. By this, I mean that I believe, many of us are far too quick to point out the bad in someone else, rather than ourselves. I, too am guilty of this, most possibly everyday and far more often than I would like to admit. First off, I would like to share a few verses from the bible, which, whether you are a believer or not, you might be able to relate/agree with: “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother: ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye’, when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank our of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. Matthew 7:3-5. This verse to me says so clearly and obviously, that we are all often such great hypocrites, we are never able to point the finger at ourselves, instead, we are quick and eager to point out someone else’s faults. In fact, more often than not, if someone were to point out our bad attributes, we instantly jump up to defend ourselves, making excuses and/or denying what is said about us rather than listening, thinking, pondering and deciding whether or not the things in which have been said are true; whether we do need to edify something in our behaviour/actions etc. In which case, of course, there is always something to improve on as we humans are never perfect. Sometimes however, these things need reviewing and reflection because what someone may have pointed out might not be the truth or we may in fact not need to change it at all. Having said that fundamentally, I think that if people are constantly reflecting on their actions and how they are instead of thinking about other people, we would all be able to improve on ourselves as people and therefore, everyone would in turn improve as people and relationships between people would therefore be easier, better and not filled with as many problems. I have decided, that by making improvements and sorting out the plank of wood in my own eye, whether I am able to ‘solve them’ or not, I would hopefully work to be a better person and no longer look to the speck in other peoples eyes and ignoring my own so blatantly obvious plank. I know it might take time and it will take a whole of a lot of effort on my part to remind myself to continually do these things, but I hope by writing this out in a blog post I will hold myself to this ‘goal’ and work on these things for the better.

In these two ways (it adds up to a lot more than ‘two’ really) I hope to thoroughly work on different aspects within my life, starting from myself and slowly working outwardly. I hope to look in a metaphorical mirror more often and this will in turn hopefully allow me to spread these ‘better’ aspects that I work on to other parts of my life and also to the different relationships in which I have with the people surrounding me. So, here’s to new goals and looking to continual self-improvement…


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