Gaining perspective

Here’s a post on something that has been an on-going “lesson” to me if you will…
The main roots to my thoughts on this topic have been from speaking to one specific friend, in which whatever subject or topic was brought up, she would always look at it from more than just one perspective, that being her own. She would never stop at just what her opinion was, she would question what the involved parties’ might have been through, or might have had to deal with, or what may have led them to carry out certain actions. This then triggered me to think about how I approach situations, especially problems and issues, both my own and others’. I questioned whether or not I just thought from my own point of view or whether I would also try to think about what others were thinking/feeling. I had always thought that I can very easily look at things from another individuals’ perspective, however whether or not I actually allowed myself to think about this fully and really analyse it to go further and actually allow myself to understand why an individual in a situation may have carried out the actions they did, was the real question. Of course we can never fully comprehend what someone else is going through, even if they sat down and told us it all, relating to it and fully understanding is on a whole other level, however just the sheer small act of beginning to come to even think what someone else may be going through/what they have been through is something which I think in everyones’ day-to-day life, mine included, is sadly, foreign.

Another thing in which has added to these thoughts, is a YouTube video that I watched, it spoke about someone going through a hard time and just how much hurt, sadness, hardship, vulnerability and other painful emotions were felt on one end and how this person feeling all these emotions somehow managed to gain perspective and flip the situation on its head, regardless of how awful it all was, they could see it from the what you could call the “guilty” persons’ point of view. This to me was a huge wake up call, because even in such a difficult and tough situation they were able to see the other side to the pain and get past it, it really made me think about the hundreds of thousands of things that I can get caught up in, but really if I thought about it properly there are reasons, and even if there aren’t any, there must be pain present on both sides and not just my own. The example shared in the video was an extreme one, and to which I thought if they can do this, why can’t we all? What is stopping us from doing this in little, small and what may seem like insignificant little disagreements, or misunderstandings that prop up in our lives…

More than this, I believe that amongst all of us, not nearly enough of us try to see things in other peoples’ perspective, whether it be in good or bad, happy or sad situations- or even just in day to day life. I for one do not do this enough, and I think that if all of us could just take a small step in trying to gain that perspective, maybe we wouldn’t see things the way we do, and it would look different, the picture would change and there would be a lot less pain, it would be a lot less ugly. Even if forgiveness takes more effort and is harder to come by, it doesn’t mean that we can’t take action and begin to try and understand. By no means am I saying to condone any type of unfriendly and uncivil behaviour, yours and mine included- which really highlights my point being, we all make mistakes, we all fall sometimes, we all hurt one another, either intentionally or unintentionally. But honestly? Are we not just all going through life trying out best? Is that not what we all just strive to do, and ultimately whether failing and succeeding sometimes along the way we are still giving it our all in our given circumstances, even if one may think certain peoples’ “bests” do not seem like their “best” it doesn’t mean that we can go to point a finger at them, because for all we know, our “best” may not be what it should be, who are we to go judge without actually being in that situation. Therefore, with this point highlighted, I’d like to invite you to join me, join me in perhaps trying to gain some insight in other peoples’ lives, even if sometimes it’s the last thing you wish to do, and sometimes all you want to do is blame someone else- maybe this way we can all see past the darkness and pain a little, and maybe this way we can try to make friendships and/or relationships we have with others a little more bearable, a little more easier, and maybe we can shine some light into dark spaces and really come to be more understanding to one another.

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