I’m in no way shape of form where I would like to be, where I think I should be and where I see myself in my head. Almost everyday I will question my position at that given time. Sometimes the answer that I conjure up in my brain is long-winded and unnecessary, other times I disregard it and continue on as anyone would. In these times I am reminded that I as a mere human being living alongside the other billions of people on this planet have one life, one life to live. And one life to make the most of… It’s all good and well for one to say that their goal is to “be happy” or their goals are to “fulfil this or that dream”. But really, who knows the steps to those “dreams”, who knows what it takes to fully, truly be happy. Whilst one child sits in a mud bath making mud pies and refuses to go on that sunny beach holiday; knows nothing past that happiness at that given time. The child in fact refuses such luxury. So I ask, who knows? As much as I would like to say I have it all figured, I really don’t want to either. Learning to embrace what is to me the [beauty in life], in not knowing exactly how this whole puzzle fits together is something that has and will always be a difficult thing. There are moments where I have been pushed to anger, frustration and desperation but something tells me that there’s a reason why we haven’t figured it all, that not everything makes sense. And that at the end of the day. It’s okay. Although I do not have the words or vocabulary to express my complete and whole thoughts on it, I know that the path that lies ahead is easily said to be a mystery to each individual at least, I can’t say it will be easy, and I can’t say it will be hard. I’ve known that there is rain after sun, there is hardship after joy and there is failure after success. I’ve also known though, that there is such hope as rainbows, such thing as perseverance and such strength in overcoming setbacks in life. It pains me to say that there will never be another promised good day as much as it relieves me. There is beauty in all the imperfections if one would just look for them. There is beauty in all those flaws that we all perceive to be ugly and faults in life. There are those times where we stop and think about such imperfections and see nothing but an ugly picture, yet how else would the picture be whole without them. I wonder if ever, could I count all the stars in the sky, at a given time? Well the answer is obvious, it is impossible. How amazing that would be, yet how silly that would be to think. I believe this is the same in our lives. How we try to see and count every day we have yet to live. How silly that would be. I tell myself that this is how it’s meant to be and how we all live. Yet I’m sure if we could all have that impossible chance to see and count all them stars we would. Striving to something that is unknown to us sounds silly also, we dream of those “happy days”, however would we know one even if we were living one?
I say, take the life and ignore the stars. Why look at the already made stars, when you can create your own? Take the day and make it bright. Make it shine with a brightness that overwhelms and satisfies. Yes it’s difficult, of course it is. And surely one day will inevitably be harder to make bright than another, yet surely striving to this is much more achievable than anything else we strive towards. So why not begin trying that now? Even if you fail, you’ll have created and pieced your own puzzle together, with your own splashes of imperfect and beautiful colours.