We look for reassurance and hope in pretending or believing things will last. We form a coping mechanism for ourselves by allowing our minds to believe that things will last forever whilst we subconsciously know that things don’t last; that there is no actual forever in anything we see or touch. So why do we do this then? Why do we still give ourselves the permission to think this and give our hearts the permission to be broken; time and time again? We hinder ourselves in conforming to this pattern, this pattern of allowing things to be “forever”. We find comfort in nodding at “the norm” or what we know and are familiar with. Yet what we don’t know is just how much we could gain by stepping out there. We don’t need to stay in that comfort zone we form for ourselves. In that friendship we have said “Yes, forever” to. Don’t get me wrong, it’s totally fine and if not I urge you to make commitments, it’s a part of life and having a responsibility is something we all need to be able to do in order to build ourselves and grow as humans. However there is something great and special about taking things as they come and truly acknowledging there’s something more to us than the little bubble we enclose ourselves in. We need not look to find that “perfect guy/girl”; we need not think that we can only stay in one position in our lives. Move and keep moving. Know that there is no forever in material things and/or people and keep pushing to find something more than just a fake promise of “forever” and keep striving to find something more than just another inevitable ending to those words.

I would like to ask you to think about what things you hold onto too tightly? Maybe it’s a job, a sentimental object, a special someone who is close to you; a friend, a family member, maybe even a partner. And now think about how you might feel or do if that thing were to go and leave your life? Would you feel so broken you’d lose yourself a little? Does the thing you’re thinking about now define you, change you, mould you, and cause you to do things in certain ways? Do you put too much hope into believing that this thing will be in your life forever? Even if you haven’t said it out loud or fully thought of it like this in the past perhaps you unintentionally have caused yourself to think that you will never lose this? And now I would like to challenge you to distant yourself and consciously make a choice to not put too much hope and try to lose some grip from this. Try to remind yourself that it won’t last forever and when the time comes perhaps you’ll be able to say that it was a good idea to allow yourself to not hold this too closely to your heart because hopefully it will hurt less. Hopefully you gradually won’t need to have this coping mechanism in your life any longer and will find some sort of freedom in knowing that you don’t need to look for and cling onto things any longer. That you can move on and just enjoy your life as it comes.


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